Smut we’re reading: BOOK SPOILER REVIEW: PASSIONS OF THE WERESHARK

weresharkSome books you simply cannot put down.  To hell with school/work/whatever, you will stay up to an ill-advised time of night just to figure out How It Ends.  Some of these books are amazing, life-changingly good works of literary genius.  Some of these books are train wrecks–so bad and so addicting, the Candy Crush of writing.  I’ve read this book twice and still have no idea which category it falls into.

Here’s the premise. [CAPITAL LETTERS SPOILER ALERT] A woman goes swimming with the sharks in one of those underwater metal cage things (a quick Google search is telling me this is called a “Shark Proof Cage”.  Apparently this book begs to differ.).  The shark breaks through and kidnaps our damsel, who passes out immediately.  She regains consciousness shackled to a wall in a cave–rocks on one side, the sea on the other.  All this is pretty dire until it turns out our cage-bustin’ shark is actually a shifter who happens to be both super attractive and great at sex.  This is pretty much the best way this could have played out.

The book then takes a fairly predictable path, leading to the impregnation of Sophie (took me 7 full minutes of scrolling through the book to find her name, ended up getting it from the description.  **actively resists urge to write 5,000 word rant on female identity in romance novels**).  There is a conveniently-short gestation period which leads to the birth of a baby shark.

This book haunts me.  I’m writing about this not because it’s a particularly good or especially bad book.  I’m writing this because I cannot stop thinking about this book.  It’s because of how this ends.

Minutes after giving birth to a baby shark, the new Poppa Shifter Shark pushes our protagonist into the water.  Right after giving birth.  Into the water with a newborn baby shark.

You see where he’s going with this, right?

She gets eaten. STRAIGHT. UP. EATEN.  Nom nom nom, that’s some good Mom, pass the ketchup please, eaten.  **shudders**

I’m contemplating making a wall of “What the Fuckery?” here.  And if I did, this mofo would be right at the top.

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